Tagged with love

Trinity Sunday 2015

Trinity Sunday 1.2Today we hear in the first reading Moses addressing God’s people, reminding them of the amazing things God has done for them and how by right, their devotion and worship belongs to God and God alone. But there’s something familiar about the way he recalls the amazing events.

“Ask now of the days of old, before your time,
ever since God created man upon the earth;
ask from one end of the sky to the other:
Did anything so great ever happen before?
Was it ever heard of?” Deuteronomy 4:32

Did anything so great ever happen before? This question posed to the Hebrews was so very true. Was it ever heard of? Indeed, the answer was an astounding “No!” Nothing like what God had done for them had ever been heard of before. What I find so amazing is that we, Christians today, can repeat these words to a whole new set of events that God has done, making Moses’ words to the Hebrews as true for them that day as they are for us today, and even more so.

We have been blessed with entry into God’s divine self – into the life of the Trinity. Through baptism, we receive the greatest gift that will ever be gifted to us – an invitation to life – life to its fullest. God did great things for the Hebrews. God is still doing great things for us today, and it is our simplest and hardest joy to say ‘Yes’ to cooperating with God’s love. It is the work of the Spirit within us that we can even begin say ‘Yes’ to God’s divine love, and the Spirit is the fulfillment of Jesus’ promise: “And behold, I am with you until the end of the ages.”

Parenting has been one crazy roller-coaster of a ride. I remember being pregnant with my first baby and thinking how amazing it was to feel so close to the experience of God’s love. The love between husband and wife being so great that it creates a completely new being. So close to this amazing image of the Trinity, and yet so far away. If there’s one thing parenting has taught me, it’s how much work I need to do on myself in truly actualizing the Love that God gives and its fullness received through baptism. There’s nothing like cleaning up over and over again from a little person training to use the potty to stretch one’s limits in patience. Or when the baby, whose fingers are completely covered in red, red tomato sauce, reaches up and grabs their hair and pulls their fingers through it, followed by reaching out and grabbing your shirt (or pants). All these experiences (and more) continue to remind me of my need for God’s grace in the everyday living. My need for God’s Spirit to guide me still, navigating through these paths of frustration, impatience, anger, and fear. I recognize the paradox between being so close and being so far away at the same time. The only sense that can be made of it is in the unity of the Trinity – being invited and aligned (even if only partially) with the Father, the Son and the Spirit.

This Sunday we celebrate this paradoxical unity between the Three Persons in One – the Trinity. We don’t fully understand the mystery of it, but we do experience it in our own daily lives. My own experiences have given me insight into my relationship with God which only draws me closer and helps me to more fully rely on the Spirit in my life. And being a parent has made me realise one major truth: I can use all the help I can get.

Dating my Husband & What I Wore Sunday #wiws

2015-03-15 12.53.36(California trip, March 2015)

Two nights ago night I took a tally of the fun we encountered on our date. It looked like this:

Transformers, 140 minutes long

138 minutes left in movie. Child wakes up. 10 minutes paused.

120 minutes left. Child comes up and tries to snuggle in to watch with us. 15 minutes paused.

112 minutes left. Child comes up and does similar action. 10 minutes paused

106 minutes left. Child gets halfway up stairs before we intervene. 10 minutes paused.

96 minutes left. Child gets up yet again.

It is now 11pm and we are done for the night.

Having in-home dates is definitely a cheap option for a tight budget, but it also comes with its own price.

Andy and I can’t afford to go outside of the home for many dates in a year. Our net household income is about $30-35,000, and a good portion of that goes into food and housing. As a family, we have made our priorities, and dates at home is what is on our menu.

We used to have a “date night” and I’ll be honest, sometimes it really sucked. This was because the kids, on this particular night, often would have an off-night. Then the whole evening would end up dedicated to bringing them back downstairs, tucking them in, maybe staying to make sure they go back to sleep, then finally emerging back to pick up where we left off. A rather frustrating endeavour, and can make a movie take at least twice as long, let alone any other activities.

2015-03-08 11.22.38(Troublemaker #2)

Andy and I came up with a solution. At least temporarily it seems to be helping. We now aim to have mini-date nights nearly every night that he is home. Sundays we do something extra special, but the rest of the time (when he’s not doing evening programs) we try to take on the “date night” atmosphere. It has definitely helped relieve the “we only have this one chance once a week” stress that apparently had been building in me. If we don’t finish a movie, the opportunity is really only 1-2 days away now rather than a week.

IMG_5700(Troublemaker #1)

While I love my little munchkins completely and utterly, they take up a lot of time that used to be used leisurely with my husband. Poll any number of parents with young families and the phrase “leisure time” when referring to any part of the week might mean getting a shower in and spending a little extra time letting the water run cold, or perhaps using nap time to desperately check and recheck Facebook and Twitter in an effort to gain the little bit of adult interaction that is feasible with a baby who naps best at home. Leisure time for young families is completely different than the way I used to define it, and it means that it is harder for Andy and I to find time together where we get to reconnect.

IMG_5568(Troublemaker #3)

Having only one night a week wasn’t enough for our relationship, especially me. My love language is quality time, so I truly need dedicated connection time to feel loved.

This way I don’t feel animosity towards my kids when they keep waking up and disturbing our date night. It might take us 3 solid nights to finish Wolverine, but we will get there (true story). And as my mother always told me, “patience is a virtue.” Truly, being parents of young kids provides ample opportunities to practice this virtue. In the meantime, we’ll figure out some work-arounds to help make things go a little smoother in our house.

whatiwore

2015-04-18 18.34.19 I’m thrilled with some items I recently purchased at Once Upon a Child. Spencer and Felicity’s items are from there (I am loooooving Spencer’s cute sports jacket!). Cassia’s is a hand me down. Mine are from Reitmans.

Here we are in our Sunday finest. Well, the kids especially so. It has been windy as anything here today, and we spent most of the day outside yesterday in the blustery wind trying to organise our yard and do a little landscaping.

That hairband did a number on Felicity’s fringe, though. Soo not the wind’s fault.

2015-04-18 18.52.31 2015-04-18 18.52.55But she’s happy. And really, that’s what matters right now.

To check out more What I Wore, head over to Fine Linen and Purple‘s link up!

Pausing and Reflecting

It’s been a whirlwind of a month, as September usually is. We haven’t had too much down time with me doing my business stuff after supper most nights, but we’ve managed to fit in a few Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes.

I’ve been coming to a little bit of peace about the state of our messy house. If you’ve come to visit, you’ll likely know that there is food on the floor by the table (namely by the kids seats), there are books and toys strewn about the living room and den, clothes seemly tossed carelessly onto the floor, couch, chair – wherever they might fly to, and the floors – the floors hardly look swept at all.

I have struggled with this daily. I hate feeling like we live in a pig-sty. I hate it when I try to find something only to find that it’s gone ‘missing’. And I really get peeved off when the kidlets get into our cooking utensils and we can no longer find them or rearrange a particular cupboard and all hope of finding the food I need for a quick supper is lost. It’s frustrating. It’s maddening. It wears me thin.

I decided to reexamine what is going on here that creates this pig-sty and try to make improvements where I can. The result was not what I expected. In this examination, I realised that I am actively making a choice to ignore the mess to (typically) be with my kids or tend to their needs. Potty training doesn’t happen on its own, most cries typically need a Mama intervention, stories need to be read, and teeth come through one’s gums in a most painful way. The mess is still here. It’s still frustrating at times, and it still drives me crazy when I can’t find what I’m looking for. But I feel more at peace with the mess now because I’ve realised that the mess is not more important than my kids, who truly do actively need me during most of the day.

The mess can wait until later. Or it can visit for a long time. I don’t like it, but I will allow it to reside here as long as my kids are receiving the love they have the right to receive from their Mama. The mess gets no lovin’ from me.