Two nights ago night I took a tally of the fun we encountered on our date. It looked like this:
Transformers, 140 minutes long
138 minutes left in movie. Child wakes up. 10 minutes paused.
120 minutes left. Child comes up and tries to snuggle in to watch with us. 15 minutes paused.
112 minutes left. Child comes up and does similar action. 10 minutes paused
106 minutes left. Child gets halfway up stairs before we intervene. 10 minutes paused.
96 minutes left. Child gets up yet again.
It is now 11pm and we are done for the night.
Having in-home dates is definitely a cheap option for a tight budget, but it also comes with its own price.
Andy and I can’t afford to go outside of the home for many dates in a year. Our net household income is about $30-35,000, and a good portion of that goes into food and housing. As a family, we have made our priorities, and dates at home is what is on our menu.
We used to have a “date night” and I’ll be honest, sometimes it really sucked. This was because the kids, on this particular night, often would have an off-night. Then the whole evening would end up dedicated to bringing them back downstairs, tucking them in, maybe staying to make sure they go back to sleep, then finally emerging back to pick up where we left off. A rather frustrating endeavour, and can make a movie take at least twice as long, let alone any other activities.
Andy and I came up with a solution. At least temporarily it seems to be helping. We now aim to have mini-date nights nearly every night that he is home. Sundays we do something extra special, but the rest of the time (when he’s not doing evening programs) we try to take on the “date night” atmosphere. It has definitely helped relieve the “we only have this one chance once a week” stress that apparently had been building in me. If we don’t finish a movie, the opportunity is really only 1-2 days away now rather than a week.
While I love my little munchkins completely and utterly, they take up a lot of time that used to be used leisurely with my husband. Poll any number of parents with young families and the phrase “leisure time” when referring to any part of the week might mean getting a shower in and spending a little extra time letting the water run cold, or perhaps using nap time to desperately check and recheck Facebook and Twitter in an effort to gain the little bit of adult interaction that is feasible with a baby who naps best at home. Leisure time for young families is completely different than the way I used to define it, and it means that it is harder for Andy and I to find time together where we get to reconnect.
Having only one night a week wasn’t enough for our relationship, especially me. My love language is quality time, so I truly need dedicated connection time to feel loved.
This way I don’t feel animosity towards my kids when they keep waking up and disturbing our date night. It might take us 3 solid nights to finish Wolverine, but we will get there (true story). And as my mother always told me, “patience is a virtue.” Truly, being parents of young kids provides ample opportunities to practice this virtue. In the meantime, we’ll figure out some work-arounds to help make things go a little smoother in our house.
I’m thrilled with some items I recently purchased at Once Upon a Child. Spencer and Felicity’s items are from there (I am loooooving Spencer’s cute sports jacket!). Cassia’s is a hand me down. Mine are from Reitmans.
Here we are in our Sunday finest. Well, the kids especially so. It has been windy as anything here today, and we spent most of the day outside yesterday in the blustery wind trying to organise our yard and do a little landscaping.
That hairband did a number on Felicity’s fringe, though. Soo not the wind’s fault.
To check out more What I Wore, head over to Fine Linen and Purple‘s link up!